I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Blood and glitter go together right?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
