mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
