My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
