is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
