thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
