we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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