dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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