Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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