i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Randomize
