you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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