Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
