Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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