i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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