im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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