So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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