I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
home. puking in laundry basket.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Tornado booty call.. dedication
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
