pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Still dying that you shit outside
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
