Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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