just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize