Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
