yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I AM VODKA MAN
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
