how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
