I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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