maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
