Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
My hand turned me down
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
