I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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