He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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