I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
