so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
