I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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