Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
