the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
