dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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