i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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