Me. At least after what I've been through.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
