you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
