Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
