When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
