shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize