can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
