maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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