Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
