it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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