There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
