i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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