What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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