my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
