I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
