could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
