I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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