Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
